Freaking the Fuck Out (!!!)

Spending an awful amount
of time in the apartment

thinking about what is, 
what could be, what certainly 

will be, rearranging the lists, 
and reading different websites

so that I am completely up to 
date and normal and not really

freaking the fuck out (!!!)

Selene Moon Goddess 8:21 pm

By the light of the moon
She whispers
Secrets into passersby
Unbeknownst
She calls to them
And ancient wisdom
Lives on forever
Eternal
In the hearts
Of man–

More Reflections

I want to paint big black flowers on off white canvas
I want to photograph a telephone so that it looks nostalgic
I want to know that I am awake, really awake
and if it’s a dream, it’s a magnificent dream where all
my dreams are already coming true
I want to make sure the numbers add up and the cents
make sense
that it’s weird and not weird
and nothing gets fucked up here in this plane
I want to eat whatever I want and nothing I want
Broccoli florets and ice cream, but not together (of course?)
I want to feel the roundness of my belly and tell you that I love you
I want to remember always that you are a union of our love
for each other
and that loving you is loving me
because I can only love in others what I love about myself
because we are all mirrors of each other
and even when I said I hated that person
that certainly meant it was something I hated about myself
And so, tonight, we create
More reflections
More reflections
More deep pools of reflections
in your little eyes
I cannot see just now
but I know
I have known for
eternities.

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Friends and Lovers

Friends become lovers
Lovers become friends

Friend should not become lovers

Lovers die
Lovers die
Lovers die

Smoke rises
and vanishes

Where?

Into
impossibly
thin
air–

Headache

A headache looms in the not so far distance
I see it coming, but fail to stop it short
and so,  it crashes onto the shore
of my forehead
making dull waves
pitting up against brown, jagged rocks
I’ve suddenly decided I’ve no desire
to do anything spiritual or uplifting
traumatic ICU
bedtime nap
is calling
into utter and
total
much needed
blackness.

Sitting on the Couch 2:46 pm

Hot steam rises
from my Tiffany
mug
filled with rose hips
and raspberry
soothing scent to
smell
and soothing swig
to swallow
comforting my
precious
growing baby
soon to follow
in my big
tiny
footsteps…

Winter Wonderland

She Said So Mother

Years of generational erasing
The hatred negating
All that our ancestors have done

I’m here today to ask
And pray
To call on you
When the desecration
Continues

Will you
Hear my prayer?
Today, tomorrow… Forever?

Will my unborn baby
Understand this fervor?

I think so
Mother
She says
She knows so
Mother
It’s part of your blood
It’s in your blood
She said so
Mother–

Taino Community

The beat of the drum calls me
Calls you
To this room
We are small
But big
Connecting to our ancestors
With a song
The smoke rises and falls
And rises again
Synchronicity abounds
As I close my eyes
And recall
That I have sat in
This same circle
Many many years ago
And I am transported from a
Brooklyn neighborhood
To the village where we farm
And prayer heals
Where families love
And children cheer
Where pain doesn’t manage
To clamp our beating hearts
And so
And I am so so very grateful
That I am a part of
This Taino
Community.

NYC Sunset

Giant orange fireball
dressing the sky
swatches of purple
and pink paint
leaking across
begins to dye
a curtain veils
the rest
the eyes of the
city-dwellers
slowly
closing–