Ocean Dream

i want to wade in
a shallow pool of
water with you

in last night’s dream
your head bobbed up
and down in the heavy ocean
dirty water
i was scared to have you
slip underneath
but your innocent smile
proved my fears wrong
as I took you to the shore
and dried off your clothes–

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Pink Baby

The baby in the pink sweat suit
walks around the doctor’s office
saying hello while she wobbles on two
unsteady feet
We all say hello back when she meets our eyes
with her big eyes
Her mother tells us she speaks English
Russian and Hebrew
as she slaps another patron
the sweetest high five–

Worship Your Name

Passing the spiritual baton to you
I felt like I had somehow lost my purpose
the leader
the one who knew
the girl who had been there done that
ego filling up this heart space
forcing myself to
realize over and over again
that my new role
the one that will take me to places
I’ve never imagined
is the role of the mother
who cares, nurtures, consoles, loves
the small
the weak
the fragile
the strong
Tames the inner beast
who quenches all kinds of internal
and external thirsts
A part of me knows it’s
not my first
I know somewhere, someplace within me
how to dispel the darkness’s tries
I can do it with one confident wink of an eye
My ancestors danced on graves and made
men come alive
with their sorrow, and sadness,
and love of french fries–
The woman, the mother, the goddess
the wave
of eternal birth
I worship your name–

Vision Quest 2014

As I was walking down the path
of wet green grass,
I suddenly heard my mother call my name.

“Kathy!”
and I stopped dead in my tracks
Ringing
Again–
“Kathy!”

I felt a sudden fear
that she was here

Quivering tears falling quickly
down my face
Hands covering eyes
Hot blood rushing up–
The same voice my mother used
many years ago in another dream
Smoked that dust and found myself
in an imaginary, but very lucid hospital
“hearing” my mother call my name
yet all the while I was lying in your bed
when coming to–

And this time
when I realized the echo of my name
was not real,
and was,
in fact,
another hallucination,
or rather
this year’s Vision for me
here at our last Vision Quest,
as I will soon become a mother
myself–
My mother’s call
connecting me
chaining me
bridging me to her and me to mine
and in this understanding the Universe delivered
and I accepted fully that
everything’s fine–

Thursday Morning

Watching you make your red prayer ties
Each small piece of fabric
a thank you
a sincere note of gratitude
a humbling wish for someone’s health and safety
The smoke from the California sage rises and
consumes the air space in our kitchen
Windows open,
I turn my head to watch the incense
burn on my left.
We’re surrounded by wafts of smells
beginning to consume almost every fiber…
Still in the transcendence (yet)
Grounded by my earthly feelings of guilt and hopelessness,
You remind me to support you on your Quest
To not be selfish and
That everything
is going to be

okay–

Opening Up

I know the universe is
opening up
as my womb gradually
opens up
The inside of my skin
slippery to the metaphysical
touch
An infinite guilt trip that’s never enough
A changing body preparing for birth
symbolizes my connection to Mother Earth
I’m slowly surrendering to the drowning of my ego
Letting go of self
Accepting this new being as an extension of myself
Watching the night tides wash ashore
as my semi circle half moon descends
into the depths of the silver-blue ocean–

Roebling Street 3:51 pm

Oh boy
How the tides have turned

A man drags his fox like dog along Roebling street

She asks me, Curley haired friend,
If I will be okay

I’m jealous of your matching blue
and white outfit
while I waste away the day–

This afternoon is split in two
I’m waiting to see a final picture of you

He’s close, I’m sure, to picking me up
We want pizza and that’s enough–

Work Weekend 2014

Sandals that are too small
Dresses that are too big
accommodating my belly
as I wait for a Sunday morning train–

Yesterday I sat by the fire
for many hours
watching the flames dance
as a warm afternoon turned
to a cooler night.
The moon shifted her dress
to say hello
The stars awakened
blinking their
eternal prayer
while communal ant-like me
listened to all the prayers
that came before me
and after me
knowing forever shall
they be–

Anxiety Part 2

Putting me on the spot
Choking up
Forcing me to perform
Then cutting me off
Telling me I’m wrong!?
Cut up
Caught up
In anger
I
hate
This

shining new light on an old landscape

making the ordinary extraordinary
I’ve wandered into new territory
with bedroom eyes
half hooded eyes
waiting for the rebirth of me
through you–