The Queen

You stand up there
tall and proud
black and proud
with your nude lace up heels,
cheetah print maxi skirt
with a slit up the side
thick leather belt that
wraps around your black
skin tight leotard
covered by a light beige duster
with big tufts of fur on the collar–
I admire your look
and I admire you even more
after you tell the large crowd you are
68–
and then I admire you even more
as you begin to tell us about your life
how you left for four years
and came back just today
how people had run you out
when they were supposed to have
had your back
were supposed to have supported you
in your darkest, loneliest
most confusing moments
and instead, when you did not fit their
image of the “queen”
(which is what they called you
and you begged to differ)
they pretended you did not exist
and so you asked
(I ask)
what is this then
the program we call
a God-given program?
if we can’t see ourselves in each other
if we can’t remember that we are
all the same
that we all come from the same place
no matter our sexual identity, creed, religion
or lack of religion
and with that crack of your voice
the quavering of your chin
seducing one tear or more tears
out of my eyes
telling us all of your pain and suffering
I heard my story too
and his and her story
and probably everybody’s story
and I thought, well dammit
you are still the Queen
even if you are not in your eyes
but mine
and even if you weren’t or aren’t
the woman we should be bowing to
I still respect you for
being you
and sharing with me all of you
which makes me
a better person–

Traveling lens

See the world through my eyes 

She said 

Or walk a mile in my shoes

The idioms all the same

Cliches 

For what you would find is

That my world is quite like yours 

And so is the walk 

Long and arduous 

Room for growth 

And still more room for peace 

Wishing things away so I can focus on me 

But as the divine just intuited to me 

As it probably has been for days

Weeks

Months 

And probably years 

Inspiration comes from everywhere

You just have to do the damn work–

I choose love

wandering the streets of NYC
I have a plan
to not have a plan
I slowly float over tiny brown puddles
waiting for you to get out of my way
sorry that was mean
I mean, I’m letting you pass first
stuck in between a black wrought iron fence
and a tiny yellow dandelion
I choose love
Yes,
I choose love–

Beach Ball

Listening to you
repeat every word I say
like it’s all new
it is new
it’s so
so
so very new to you
you pick up a piece and say red
it’s yellow
you pick up another piece
it’s yellow
you say yellow
the claymation on the screen
as I type this
says
“koo koo”
it’s Russian for
peek a boo
I didn’t understand why
until I heard you repeat it
(so much easier for babies)
and here we are
day after day
week after week
month after month
nearing the 2 year mark
and you are everything I hoped for
everything I dreamed of
more than I could have imagined
as we awaken another morning
rest unto another night
looking forward with glistening eyes
thanking the Lord
for another day here
to live in peace
and as much harmony
as my small mind
commands
as I will allow myself to feel
on this little
round
blue ball
called
Earth–

 

How much I

Waiting for daddy to arrive 

Mommy lays on the bed on her finally flat tummy 

Leaning against its edge

We realize that it’s times like these 

Time upon time 

Minute upon minute 

And endless scrolling 

Meaningless life wasters 

That bring me back to the written word 

The page

Although still a screen 

It is still an empty tablet 

Tableau 

To draw me in to the inner child

A reflection of my reflection 

of us

of who you and I will together forever be 

A oneness with the ever expansive universe

That I never saw coming 

As simple as washing the dirty dishes 

As complex as trying to figure out why I’m exactly here 

And still just as easy as that 

A metaphor often used 

To describe how much 

I really 

really 

love 

you–

The Cord

The
red
pulsating
organ
has been
designed especially for me
for us
the cord
vibrates
bringing you sustenance
bringing you life
one of the many bonds that will
sustain us
that has sustained us
that will continue to sustain us
long after it has dried up and fallen off
it becomes invisible to others
yet you and I know it’s still there
synonymous with the cord
that ties my being to my mother
and her mother to her mother
and to all females
to all goddesses, to Mother Earth
and Father Sky
You and him
have brought forth this power
to he and I
and now us to her
and she will continue to drift
to develop her own
one link to another
a large chain of being
that
lasts
indomitably
for
all
eternity.

Fine

The day has almost passed
I’m lying on the crimson colored bed
dreaming of your violet sanctuary
in the next room over:
Where the cherry blossom decal will go
Where the “C is for Cat” picture will hang
If I want to add the pink and lilac ribbon garland
above your head
and whether or not your tiny books
need bookshelves–

You and your mother are almost done
building the honey colored breakfast nook
Sage green cushions wait to be sat on
Zoya, our cat, has already tested them out
We think we might have gotten a wrong part
And so, my patience is being tried–
But it’s fine
I think
it will be fine–

It is fine.

Friends

on the horizon
a light, faint
lavender haze
descends
on the brain
into night
ness
less
time to suffer
more time for
ice cream
and
old
fun
timeless
jokes–

Two Souls, Two Hearts

Two souls, two hearts in one
How I long to meet you!
Moving inside me
I feel your body twist and turn…
which way, I’m not so sure–
the heart? the head? the arms?
your tiny little feet?
I also often wonder if your
soon to be
big brown eyes
are open or closed?
Knowing you can’t see
anything in my soft and dark
cocoon of a womb, I do know that
you can sense me, your mama,
with your wide open heart
as I feel you with mine,
all the time,
now and for
all our predetermined
eternity–

Divine Alchemy (or Everything will turn out okay)

Divine alchemy
resting on the shores of the placenta

The child looks up to the new organ
the only creation she sees for nine full months
in awe of
this magical tree of life,
sprouting
pink, red, pulsating, bloody, veined nutritious glory
for you–

like a tiny elephant in the womb,
we’ll all bask in its nourishment

until
violently
gently
naturally
we are
(you will be)
e x  t   r    a     p      o       l        a         t          e           d
trusting in the sacred process
trusting in the holy communion
trusting that
everything
everything
everything
will turn out simply
and lusciously
o
kay–