Renewal

Where one life ends
another begins
Your death
Her birth
Your return to the earth
another chance to start again–

The Dome

I realized today
why I love medieval art
with its flat 2-D lines,
ambiguous grimaces on
lonely faces,
lily flowers coupling
long blue drapery,
severe brown cloaks
and rigid narrow staffs
for watching flocks,
for steadfastness,
Drowning faces
masquerading suffering
yet glorifying grace–

I stared up at you
Distant martyrs
and worshipped you in
my small but big mind
almost thirty years later
I still revere you
and give you thanks
for all that you have taught me
through your artists’ interpretation
of what it means to be devout
what it means to be pure
what it means to be love
and finally what it means
to be humble and
surrender
to the almighty
Our Lord
Our Father
Jesus Christ–

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Pumping and Feeding

Up at 11
12:30
and then 2
The things that I do for you
How many hours more
will I sleep
not sleep
tonight?
It’s okay
because I have you
in my life
Love–

The Universe

You have passed
I watched you go
The ceremony created by the sisters
complete
with prayer
with tears
with song
with even some laughter
you are gone
but you are still here
Your smile permeating
All
Your existence
has seeped into everything
that we call
The Universe–

Leftover Fragments

Prepare for her death
My mother said
How exactly do I do that?
Do I crawl back through
the dusty caveats of my mind
watching through a grainy lens
the times we spent together?
Do I rewind to the moments in
her lap bouncing for hours
forever
Running then in laps around the
kitchen?
Do I quickly retreat to the table
and the treat of sitting with her
reading the daily news
looking for the hidden little guy
in the cartoon?
Do I fast forward to the same table
drinking coffee from a
coffee maker made from nude
pantyhose?
or do I sit right here
Presently
and let whatever come
Devoid of memories
Learning to be here and now
because even when she’s gone
she will still be here
living on forever
her legacy
etched deeply
in the leftover fragments of
my broken heart?

Thank You Love

Whenever I hold you
in my arms to put you
down to rest,
your eyes
so big and beautiful
make me laugh
and then a warm
air of quiet
solitude creeps in
It settles in
and then a rushing
fills my heart
so quickly
a joy I’ve never known
a swelling so profound
I feel as though it will
explode
But no–
It won’t.
My heart will just get
bigger
and
bigger
and
bigger
until my whole
universe is filled
with
love–

Posters

I see women all around me
The chain is not invisible anymore
The one that bonded me to my
Feminine ancestors
and spiritually connected me to my future daughters
They are here in front of me
on this damasked Queen size bed
Mucha’s morning and evening sisters
Entranced by the dawn
Enchanted by the night
Hang before me
A wicked eve holds the collective green
apple
and Siouxsie hugs Robert Smith on my right–
Ave Maria church bells ring–
But the milk that has collected between my breasts
and rests between your chest and mine
as you finally nurse from my left
I’m reminded that I am all women
Not just surrounded by
but within
all mothers
sisters
daughters
grandmothers
Tears and sweat
give food to brethren–
Yesterday
Forever
And
Always–

Bottle of Milk

Hot and sticky
the announcer announced this morning
as I turned to my other side
Legs outstretched
Arms floppy
just like my daughter’s
when she’s content after a
warm
lush
happy
bottle
of
milk–

Sick

Bones ache
Hearts break
Uncle’s wake
Fennel cake–

Madonna and Child

I see myself in the old card
with madonna and child
small words inscribed in czech
that I don’t understand
pink angels on her shoulder 
I can’t reach
slight facial expressions
I can’t read
big hearts locked from 
hand to hand–