Defeated beast

How many times can I type
that the eye lids closed
as the jaw is closed
shut so tight
the teeth clenched
I cannot get rid of you
Dear memory
Sad father
Angry children
What is it about me
My personality
That makes you think that this is okay?
I fight back the tears in class.
I’m sorry that I even considered
that streams could be okay in
this moment
but sometimes in this moment
this moment
I know nothing but the disgusting moment–
So I wait and wait for it to wash away
The tears so slowly
Drip
Drip
Drip
Twice today
No one
Not you
Not them
Saw me suffering
in silence
Lonely hunter
Quiet child
Defeated
sordid
beast–

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